The First Mass is the Hardest...(to forget)

"It would be easier for the world to survive without the sun than to do so without the Holy Mass."

- Padre Pio

Raise your hand if you avoid trying something new because it's uncharted territory, and you feel insecure about it. Walking into a church with certain rituals, where everyone stands, kneels, sits, and prays together as one can be intimidating. You could look silly. You could feel uncomfortable. You could get lost.

Maybe you're like me, and don't mind a new experience. I have always felt at home in God's house, no matter which it is. The thought of being in an unfamiliar atmosphere made me feel a little different, but my true fear was not trying something new, it was how my faith life might change. My whole life I was told what I believed and what I was not allowed to believe about God. I had a whole, good thing going already...I thought.

My first Mass was during a wedding I attended with my, then boyfriend, now husband, when I was in college. We made the drive to a rural Pennsylvania town and sat through the longest wedding we Protestants had ever experienced. It was beautiful. I felt a little lost in the shuffle, and caught off guard a time or two, but I never stopped thinking about it.

My second, and subsequent few Mass experiences were in my Small Town, West Virginia parish with my wonderful co-worker and friend. She invited me to tag along with her during our lunch breaks on occasional Holy Days of Obligation. I thought it was lovely, and was so impressed with the devotion and reverence the attendees demonstrated. It was then I saw something was different with these people. They had something I didn't. While I was a little disoriented by the liturgy (I didn't even know the meaning of the word liturgy then), those experiences stayed in my mind and heart for years to come. I didn't quite "get it" yet, but I was intrigued, and the seeds were planted.

Everything was fine though, so we carried on.

Seven years, a marriage, three moves, two children, and a whole lot of life later, my husband and I were feeling very stale in our church lives. I had been through the ebbs and flows of a Christian life. I knew there were peaks and valleys of spiritual growth, but to be honest, we were just stuck. After a little more than a year, and lots of prayer and conversation we felt the nudge to try the Church that we both had been curious about.

We decided we would check out a Mass service on a weekend I wasn't on door opening team duty at our large, Protestant church. I texted a friend who I knew was Catholic and asked if we could tag along with her family. Of course she said yes, so we went...and we've never stopped going since that day.

It wasn't that simple though. I was so caught up in how I would experience a Mass, and how it would reflect on who I was. I allowed voices, and quite honestly inaccurate assumptions of others about Catholicism to make my decisions for so long. I was so filled with pride and fear of what others thought of me. I wrestled for months!

How could we leave our church where we were so established? I left the groups and teams I was part of, and we said thank you and goodbye.

What would my family say? I found out!

Are some of these claims I am researching true? Short answer, yes.

Would people be disappointed in me? Yes, some were. I'm okay with that now.

Would the worship be as good? I didn't even know the full meaning of worship. I grew up thinking worship just meant singing.

Would it feel welcoming? Yes it absolutely did, and I have made more sincere friendships and connections here than anywhere else in my life.

Would I feel God? I just laugh at myself over that one...

On top of all of those questions and concerns, I was worried that life as I knew it would tip on its side if I went to a Catholic Church. Spoiler alert, it sure did, in the best way possible! I was thinking that the way the Church functioned had to work for me. HA!

Here is the beauty though...it isn't about me, or you, at all. It is all about Jesus and what He did for us. No one is going to look at you, no one is going to watch to see if you're saying the words, or pay attention if you don't get up to receive communion, which you aren't supposed to do unless you are a Catholic in a state of grace. Everyone is there offering prayers up and worshipping God. They're not there to see anyone else.

Every church I've been in has a missal, which contains the liturgy that you can follow along with word for word if you want. You can also just take in all of the sights, smells, sounds and beauty around you - there is plenty to experience. The bodily aspects of the Mass were really what I noticed the first few times I attended. Something just feels different in that space.

It's easy to see how the Mass appeals to our human senses. The buildings are beautiful. They're filled with art, stained glass, light, and detail. The aroma of incense fills the air. Bells toll, chime, and ring. Huge organs play age old hymns while choirs and church goers sing. The entire body moves in worship, rising and kneeling in reverence and prayer. Then of course there is the Eucharist, which is described as the source and summit of the faith. During the Mass, one's entire being is immersed in worship. What a gift.

I remember where I've come from, and while that place was good, it can't compare to this. How rich this faith is! How beautiful that we can walk into a church any day of the week, at nearly any time of day and sit with Jesus and pray. Where I used to go, the church was locked on every day but Sunday. How amazing that through prayers, physical movement, and actions we can move closer in relationship with our Creator and Savior every single day! Not just on Sundays during a service, but every day. Yes, we can, and do pray anywhere at any time, but isn't there something so powerful in hitting our knees, folding our hands and giving it up to God surrounded by brothers and sisters, angels and saints? You can't just get that any place.

I think anyone following Christ and accepting His gift of salvation is blessed, and I am not in any way dismissing other paths to faith in Christ, nor am I saying Catholics have the only hookup to God. I am just here to say, I walked through life one way, and it was fine and it was true and it was good. But. Now I am here, living in color every day. I'm no longer a Sunday morning girl. I'm an every day girl, thank you Lord!

If you are curious about attending a Mass, you've just got to go. If you are considering going, there is a reason for that. God is calling, and on the other side of your fear, pride, or questions there is an abundant life waiting. Read your books, annoy your Catholic friends daily with questions, pray it out, but go. Jesus will meet you there.