Surrender, Easy...Right?

Surrender is a relatively simple word, isn't it? It means to give up, to give in, to bend your will and allow someone else to have control. As easy as it is to define, it is so hard to put into action. We are created with free will. We want things our way. We are taught from an early age to fight for what we want, and to white knuckle our way through until we get it. Giving up our own control and desires goes against our very being. Surrender is not a concept of this world, and especially not of today's society. But what if I told you, it's the key?

Ironically, living a life of true freedom is the opposite of control. We might believe we are in charge of our lives, but how often do things not go according to plan? What I'm about to say next might make you think I'm crazy, but just hear me out. Living a life of radical freedom and joy takes surrender. Whether we believe it yet or not, we were created by and are loved by an all-knowing God who goes before us and prepares the way. We have the free will to turn from Him, or to follow Him. We have the free will to push through life our way, or to open our palms to the sky and say, "Father, you know all. You have the best plan. Have your will in my life."

To some of you, I'm sure that sounds like a great plan, but I know what your next thought is. Wanting to surrender and live in the freedom of God's plan is one thing, and being able to let go and DO it is another completely. I know. Same.

Here's the thing though. We can be followers of Christ, do things our way, and have a good life. People do it every day. But, we can also give it all up to Him, pray throughout our days so we are in communication with Him, sit and listen for His nudges, really hand ourselves over, and have the BEST life, planned, with care, by the One who made us.

We could muddle along in our "just fine" lives and things could be great, but we could also surrender to God and His plans, which far surpass what we could even come up with in our own minds, and live life ABUNDANTLY. John 10:10 says it plainly, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

So here I am. I surrender. I surrender to write this blog for people like me and people who come after me, and frankly, for people unlike me. I have no idea what I'm doing. I know nothing about publishing blog content, and maybe I won't even be able to figure out how to get this in front of people to read. That's ok. I have surrendered it to Him, it's God's blog now, and what He wants to do with it, He will.

This has been placed on my heart. I tried to push it away with all of my "what ifs" and feelings of insecurity, but He didn't stop nudging me. My best friend continually has encouraged me to share my story and realizations. I see nudges in stories about saints I read to my children, in emails, in the Bible, and in prayers I scroll into on Instagram.

I'm reminded of Moses who had no confidence that he could lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but God said, "I will be with you". His power is made perfect in our weakness, and who am I to tell the One who made me that I am not enough for Him to work with?

I am a convert to Catholicism, and am not even officially within the church yet at the time of writing this. I grew up Protestant, and there are people in my life, very close to me, who are unhappy with the decision my husband and I have made to convert. More about that later, I'm sure. The thing I want to share with this inaugural blog post, (which I'm not even sure I am going to successfully publish) is this: surrender is scary, and surrender is worth it.

Was I scared to surrender to the conviction placed on my heart that I needed to make a faith change? Yes. Did leaving the comfort and relationships I had built in a church I had belonged to for years feel impossible? Yes. Did I feel conflicted about leaving a student group I was leading and a welcome team I was on to enter an entirely different church culture and environment, knowing no one? Yes. Is there discomfort in some of my relationships because some people don't understand why I have to do this? Yes.

Truth is, I had felt a pull to Catholicism for years, but I didn't respond. Catholic wasn't who I was. That was stuff I knew little about. That wasn't the way my family worshipped or believed. The list of reasons to remain in my comfort zone goes on. But I needed to go deeper with God. I needed more of a daily relationship with Him, and a stronger connection, and He knew where I needed to be to accomplish that. Looking back I see God's hands in every single second of those years moving me where I am now. How beautiful it is!

Sometimes our surrender and our yes is just on the other side of the door we are apprehensive to walk through. Maybe that little yes it will change your life, maybe it will change someone else's, maybe both, or maybe a generation. He's God after all, and He can do anything with us if we open our hands and our hearts and surrender in the big things, and the small. The question for you isn't whether you have something to surrender, rather this. What is it you haven't surrendered yet?

Some Practice Tips to Surrender

• Pray without ceasing - Pray first thing in the morning, throughout the day a few times, and at night before you go to sleep. Align your heart with the Lord, and find how quickly you will desire His will in your life. Prayer is the humility to admit we need God, and that His plans are best. Ceasing to pray leads to pride, it says we can handle things on our own, and maybe we can get along fine, but we will never receive God's best by going it alone. *Bonus points for adding a rosary in the mix!

• Be in the Word - Read scripture, listen to The Bible in a Year and/or The Catechism in a Year with Father Mike. When you are learning about God's character, you won't be able to resist trusting Him.

• Go to adoration - Weekly adoration is a nonnegotiable part of my weekly schedule. Sitting with Jesus for an hour or so brings me new thoughts and outlooks every. single. time. It helps me hone in my listening hear so I can hear and follow those nudges. Sometimes those nudges are starting this big, scary blog, and sometimes they're simply sticking around to chat with someone who needs a listening ear after bible study. Nothing God moves you to do is worthless.

• Pray the Surrender Novena - I love this novena, and come back to it often. 5 Stars, Highly Recommend! https://hallow.com/blog/how-to-pray-the-surrender-novena/