Community

The Bible has a great deal to say about community. We are instructed to pray together (Matthew 18:20), encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11), confess to one another (James 5:16), mourn together (1 Maccabees 1:25), break bread together (Acts 2:46), rejoice together (Romans 12:15), and above all, love together (Colossians 3:14).

Jesus spent a vast amount of time in community. He prayed, worked, ate, rested, and traveled with His beloved Disciples, and others. God created us to be in community, saying in Genesis 2:8, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner."

We were made to be in relationship with God and with others. Why are most of us so lonely?

Many studies float around the internet outlining the dire straits people around the world find themselves in regarding loneliness. Social media is often to blame, as well as suburban sprawl, over scheduling, and countless other culprits, but I think the remedy to loneliness comes down to one, essential thing: Christ-centered relationships. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). He is always a prayer away, and never leaves nor forsakes us. In addition to His personal provision in our lives, He gave us one another.

When we started our conversion process, I was concerned I would grow more lonely as we ventured into an unknown place. I was nervous to convert because I feared the pieces of community I had would fall away for one reason or another. Our time would be spent differently, in a different place. Some people wouldn't understand or agree with our decision. Our focus would change, and therefore our priorities would shift. All of that did, in fact happen, but as always, God worked for our good.

Our family walked into our soon-to-be-official parish alone last summer. We thought we would feel like fish out of water, but to our amazement, we felt at home. We knew no one, but that didn't last long at all, and people were genuinely happy to welcome us. These people weren't high-fiving us and walking us to our seats to get more bodies through the door so the church could grow. They were shaking our hands, and putting their arms around us, welcoming our family into their community. They didn't have to hand out free coffee or give us special parking spaces, they just shared their love in action. They asked us questions. They remembered our names.

Now every time I enter the church, I find a friend to hug, and as crazy as it sounds, it's not abnormal to lose track of the time while talking to someone in the narthex of the church, and find we've been deep in conversation for hours. This has happened to me multiple times. The beauty is, we are talking about real things. We're talking about Jesus, struggles, victories, and sharing real life. I can't help but believe this is what Jesus wants for us!

This fall I joined a little community within the church called Walking With Purpose. WWP is a women's Bible study group that lasts October-March, and meets once a week. You sit at the same table, with the same group of women, the entire duration. I had been in Bible studies like this at my old church. In fact, we were in a small group for two and a half years, and we didn't create true relationships with a single person. Everyone was lovely, but we never could break out of the small talk and surface level conversations.

I was unsure about joining another group at our new church for fear of the same shallow relationships that took time and effort, but didn't breathe life. In the end, I wanted so badly to have that community I longed for, I took the chance and signed up.

Society would have you believe that you have to be the same as others to get along with them. We are grouped by age, socioeconomic status, location, career, and other meaningless categories. Thankfully, The Lord's way isn't ours.

That first fall evening in Walking With Purpose, I sat at my assigned table with a wide variety of women. Some are my age, some are older. Some have amazing professional careers, some are retired, and some are staying home with their kids. Some are married, and some are single. We're from different places, and grew up in varied types of families. Each of us is unique in a myriad of ways, and society would never put us together. But God did.

We are all individual souls, with separate joys, pains, hobbies, and stories, but we all love our Father, and that bond alone has brought me some of my dearest friends. I share life with these women, at the table, and outside of the table. We laugh together, cry together, pray together, eat together, and God is at the center of it all. To grow so close with a group of women in a few short months is unimaginable, but God can take little and make much. These bountiful relationships are a beautiful example of the amazing work God can do in our lives when we decide to be obedient to His will.

We can have friendships, community groups, standing lunch dates, and teams, but nothing will fill our souls like relationships centered on the Cornerstone, and a relationship with Jesus, Himself. True, life-giving friendships and supportive communities are still in existence, and I am so grateful to have found one.

Barb, Mel, Laura, Mary Neven, Gail, Heidi, Ann, Erika, Suzanne, and Jennifer, if you're reading this, I am beyond thankful for each of you.

An Old French Prayer For Friends

Blessed Mother of those whose names you can read in my heart, watch over them with every care. Make their way easy and their labors fruitful. Dry their tears if they weep; sanctify their joys; raise their courage if they weaken; restore their hope if they lose heart, their health if they be ill, truth if they err, and repentance if they fall. Amen.